These posts have always really just been notes for me and I’m assuming nobody else will do more than skim them, but this one’s really gonna be written just as notes and not for someone else. Merritt says he doesn’t want anyone to have favorites off of this album or listen to songs individually. They are supposed to be listened to in order, all the way through. I like this, and even before I knew he thought that, it’s always how I’ve listened to it. Although that’s partially because I’ve most often listened to it as background music while working or cleaning.
‘66 Wonder Where I’m From- He moved around so much when he was little he has a complex sense of “home”
‘67 Come Back as a Cockroach- About reincarnation and karma, also about veganism. Makes me think of children’s bright imaginations
‘68 A Cat Called Dionysus— I love this one and want a cat named Dionysus
‘69 Judy Garland— Some of the stuff in this one is made up, and Merritt was too young at the time to actually be aware of the Stonewall riots, but this is about that and its a lovely fantasy version
‘70 They’re Killing Children Over There— Merritt goes to a concert when he’s little where the singer sings about how they’re killing children over there (meaning Vietnam) but he thinks they mean on the other side of the building. So, it’s humorous but deeply embedded in global events from the perspective of a 4 year old.
‘71 I Think I’ll Make Another World— this is just a lovely piece about children’s imagination
‘72 Eye Contact— this is about Merritt hating eye contact and how he would prefer to connect with people while…not doing that. This made me wonder if Merritt is autistic, and it seems that while he hasn’t been formally diagnosed, he thinks he probably is, and his friends who have been diagnosed agree. I also learned that he always has his concerts be very muted in sound, which is not actually due to his autism but due to a separate hearing condition that makes loud noises feedback loop in his left ear. I would very much like to go to a quiet concert by a band I love.
‘73 It Could Have Been Paradise— about all the different places Merritt and his mom lived when he was little, as his mom tried to find spiritual fulfillment in a lot of different ways and Merritt just either hung out with local kids or read books by himself. The places seem like paradise, and his mom thought they might be, but they weren’t.
‘74 No- This is about Merritt’s young (8 year old?) self (and his present self) making fun of other people’s faith-based beliefs that they don’t have any evidence for. As someone who became an annoying, angry, and immature atheist at around the same age, I feel this.
‘75 My Mama Ain’t— this one is also about Merritt’s mom’s search for spiritual fulfillment. She tried a lot of things, and Merritt lovingly (I think) pokes fun at the lines she draws (at crystal healing) while also emphasizing that while she has silly beliefs, she’s also a smart lady
‘76 Hustle 76— This is a fun song about Merritt seeing a commercial for a bad quality disco record on TV and wanting it, and dancing and having a good time
‘77 Life Ain’t All Bad— this might be my favorite diss track ever, about one of Merritt’s mom’s ex boyfriends, who was particularly horrible. It’s just so eviscerating while being deliberately vague in order to punish him by not even giving him the satisfaction of being discussed. He also explicitly meta-discusses his memoirs (“When I write my memoirs…”) in this song.
‘78 Blizzard of ‘78— While the blizzard raged outside, Merritt just played music with his friends and started his first (very bad) band and read a lot of science fiction. This made me think about my parents’ stories of the blizzard of ‘77 (which hit their part of NY, which the blizzard of ‘78 did not.) My parents’ did not have a fun time, though. Some people they knew died and my dad nearly got trapped in a car in a snowbank.
‘79 Rock ‘N Roll Will Ruin Your Life— this song is about Merritt and his mom arguing about him wanting to be a musician. She says that it may seem glamorous and fun, but it sucks, just like it ruined his biological father’s life (who Merritt did not meet until his 40s). But he says he’s not interested in the groupies anyway, because he’s shy and gay, and he has hypercausis (his ear disorder) anyway, so he can’t do loud noises. The threat is that it will “make you sad, and I mean sad,” but the joke’s on her, because Merritt is already sad. (I read somewhere an interview with one of his friends, where someone asked if another musician was the most depressed musician ever, and he said, something like ‘Well I guess you’ve never met Stephin Merritt”)
‘80 London By Jetpack— this is about the New Romantic music scene in London and very 80s fantasies of the future (jetpacks). “It's not the going up
It's not the coming down
It's the zooming 'round"
Yep this is what it feels like to be a teenager and immersed in something you love. There’s a verse about him living in London once more and “declar(ing) it’s 1980” and they’ll all fly around in their jetpacks and it will be perfect
‘81 How to Play the Synthesizer— this is about exactly what it sounds like it’s about. It’s weird and sounds weird and I like it.
‘82 Happy Beeping— this is about a rude note another one of his mom’s boyfriends left him after he got annoyed that Merritt was just listening to music and playing the synthesizer all the time instead of doing his homework. He said “Happy Beeping.”
‘83 Foxx and I— this is about one of his musical role models and their shared interests, a fantasy of them hanging out and exploring the world and becoming machines together (something Foxx said in an interview he would like to do)
‘84 Danceteria! - this is about Merritt hanging out with his friends at the club Danceteria and all of the music they experienced there, and how Danceteria was definitely more important than school and helped them learn more things that felt meaningful to them
‘85 Why I Am Not a Teenager - He is a teenager during this time, and this song is about how much he rejects being one, because nobody listens to you and you’re horny all the time but there’s AIDS so you can’t have sex and you have no money, but he has dreams for when he’s older
‘86 How I Failed Ethics— a humorous story about Merritt being too disagreeable the first time he took ethics, so he failed and had to take it again. The second time, he was just as precocious but didn’t give the professor an excuse to fail him because he did all the work (and created his own ethical system). Later, he dropped out to be a musician.
‘87 At the Pyramid— another song about a disco club, this time about a specific memory that stuck with Merritt about a guy he thought was hot but didn’t talk to. He says he doesn’t know why this memory stuck with him, of all the times he went there, but it did.
‘88 Ethan Frome— this is just a song about how much Stephin Merritt likes the book Ethan Frome. I love that so many of the songs on this album are just about seemingly mundane things from each year of his life that just happen to be what’s salient for him about that time.
‘89 The 1989 Musical Marching Zoo— I can’t seem to find anything online about an actual 1989 Musical Marching Zoo or anyone talking about something by that name, so this might just be a fantasy band that Merritt would like to have/would have liked to have (“they’re coming to play inside of your mind”) (“and this is the band that I wanted to be”) It seems like his least favorite part about being a musician is being seen as his individual self (his face, name, distinguishing features) and would like to be anonymous (like wearing an animal head) and really just play his music
‘90 Dreaming in Tetris— this is about Merritt’s brain being totally filled with music at all times (like how when you play a lot of Tetris your brain can’t stop picturing Tetris) and also the existential despair of the AIDS crisis and the Cold War/feeling of impending nuclear doom
‘91 The Day I Finally… — (Snap) — in the lyric notes, Merritt says ‘91 is when he started feeling seriously depressed and so this song expresses how he felt at that time. He plays the whole thing in one go (all instruments at once, instead of recording each track separately)
‘92 Weird Diseases — a weirdly fun song that just lists the various ailments he’s had over the course of his life. He does list “Maybe Asperger’s” here. The next line is “if that exists” but one annotation online suggests that this isn’t doubting autism as a real thing, but due to the fact that Asperger’s got removed from the DSM and reclassified as autism instead of as a separate thing. Also says “from the time I was a young boy, I could feel neither anger nor joy” because he was on powerful tranquilizers since strong feelings triggered seizures. He also mentions Krishna here, which made me reflect on how he really does reference Hindu gods a lot in his songs, and that must be because of his exposure via his mom’s spiritual journeying. Until now I figured he was just informed and liked to have diverse religious references in his music
‘93 Me and Fred and Dave and Ted— this is about Merritt living in a very small home with three other men, pets, and bugs. It seems that they were all mutually in love with each other. The verses about each man suggest some problems/distance from them in retrospect, but Merritt does seem to have place in his heart for this time.
‘94 Haven’t Got a Penny— this is about being poor and depressed because you’re poor. Lyrics Genius notes that The Magnetic Fields were pretty unsuccessful until 1999, when 69 Love Songs came out (and was very popular). I didn’t know 69 Love Songs was so old until just now (I started listening to the album in 2011ish and was the first time I’d heard of the band).
‘95 A Serious Mistake— (obligated to mention this is the year I was born in order to make my professors feel old, especially since now my students say things that make me feel old) This song is about getting into a romantic relationship you know will be a bad idea but doing it anyway because love!
‘96 I’m Sad— the beginning of this song is literally “I’m sad/You made me sad” It’s directed at a person (although it’s vague enough that you can’t really infer much else about them), but I sing this to myself whenever I’m sad for any reason. The instrumentation/music is very dramatic in a way that feels both real and funny at the same time.
‘97 Eurodisco Trio- this song is about being very sad and lonely, while making music as the Future Bible Heroes, which Merritt referred to as a Eurodisco Trio. The chorus is just “We’re a Eurodisco Trio” repeated in 4 languages. The versus are about Merritt contemplating suicide, crying, and feeling lonely.
‘98 Lovers’ Lies — the lyric booklet says this is about an ex who was a pathological liar and told everyone he was HIV-positive even though he wasn’t (among other lies)
‘99 Fathers in the Clouds— this is about how Merritt wants neither his biological father nor his “father in the clouds” (God), and how he has nothing to say to his bio father if he did meet him. Yet he admits their lives do have some odd similarities.
‘00 Ghosts of the Marathon Dancers— marathon dances were 19th and early 20th century events where you would literally try to dance as long as possible (and maybe do drugs). This song is about how even when people stop dancing (and singing), the dances and music always continue in a mystical way and echo around in the spaces they used to be in.
‘01 Have You Seen it In the Snow? — Lyrics Genius website says this song is placed as the ‘01 song because it’s about NYC and ‘01 is 9/11. But it’s about how people say New York is dirty and ugly and there’s no natural beauty (and that’s sometimes true) but sometimes it’s so beautiful, especially in the snow. I wish I’d remembered this song on our good snow days this month! Lots of people have told me that winters in NYC used to be like this a lot, but we haven’t had one like this in years. And I think we probably won’t get any more snow this winter.
‘02 Be True To Your Bar— this is exactly what it sounds like, about being loyal to the bars that you call your own, and being grateful to the role they play in your social life (and in Merritt’s case, his professional life— he almost always writes songs in bars)
‘03 The Ex and I— about becoming fuck buddies with your ex!
‘04 Cold-Blooded Man- I’m not sure if he’s saying his ex (I assume a different ex than the previous song) is the Cold-Blooded Man or if he’s saying his ex wants a Cold-Blooded Man even though that seems to make no sense at all. The note from the lyrics booklet does not clarify this for me.
‘05 Never Again— a very sad breakup song, made sadder by a lyric that suggests that despite his joy at NYC in the snow, he can’t even enjoy that anymore
‘06 Quotes- about some negative press coverage he got that he says was taking his words out of context (he said a song from a racist movie was catchy, people took that as saying the song and movie are good/unproblematic. Also he apparently published a “best music” list that was only music by white people.)
‘07 In the Snow White Cottages— about a time in his life when he lived in a particular set of houses in/near LA
‘08 Surfin’ — about how stupid he thinks surfing is as an activity. He lived in LA during this time too
‘09 Till You Come Back To Me- another breakup song about being sad
‘10 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea— apparently Merritt wrote a score to a silent film about the novel, and when he went to San Francisco to perform it at a festival, he had a very nice romantic time
‘11 Stupid Tears— another sad breakup song, in which he’s mad at himself for crying
‘12 You Can Never Go Back to New York— this is the year he moved back to New York after living in LA, and the song is about how the New York you left will never still be there when you get back, even if you only leave for a short time. But there are good sides (new potential lovers!) and bad sides (the things you loved aren’t there anymore)
‘13 Big Enough For Both of Us— this is about Merritt pining (and lusting) for someone who is far away. The thing that is big enough for both of them is both his heart and his penis, both of which he would like to share with the person.
‘14 I Wish I Had Pictures— he wishes this because his memories are fading and there are so many things he wishes he could hang on to
‘15 Somebody’s Fetish— this is about how no matter your quirks or oddities, someone somewhere will be attracted to you, and he, a very lonely person, wants to write this song to make other lonely people feel a little bit better that someone is out there who will love them